This blog is normally dedicated to silly and fun science communication efforts. But I can't do that this week. I can't write a snarky post about "hot" science when everything inside hurts so much. Everyone that went to my high school knows what I mean when I talk about this painful, heavy feeling in my stomach. The feeling of tears springing up randomly through the day when I think about Parkland, my hometown, my community, my childhood.
Parkland, Florida. The town of the gated communities. Seriously, a majority of us lived in small clusters of neighborhoods surrounded by giant, beautiful palm trees and security gates with guards ensuring no one bad or dangerous could enter. A town where the property values are closer to 7 digits than 6. I grew up in an affluent neighborhood where the scariest thing to happen to you as a high schooler was getting pulled over and being caught with a joint in your car. PARKLAND WAS THE SAFEST TOWN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE RAISING YOUR FAMILY IN. Picturesque. Lovely. Boring.
Until Wednesday. My high school had a massacre. A MASSACRE. A MASSACRE?!?!? Seventeen people dead. Seventeen people shot in a school in this quaint little city. At the hands of an assault rifle. I won't even say at the hands of a person, because the person behind that assault rifle is not worth mentioning. Why is it easier to get an assault rifle than a handgun? Why is it easier to get an assault rifle as an 18-year-old than it is to get a beer? Why is it easier to get an assault rifle than get into college? Why is it easier to get an assault rifle than get a mental health check-up for a reasonable price? Why is it so. damn. easy. to get an assault rifle?
In the wake of this tragedy, I am seeing an insane amount of community support building up. MSD Alumni are organizing in cities across the country to provide support and community... and maybe, just maybe, actually make a difference on this issue. Everyone says they're sick of seeing gun violence completely ravage communities. Heck, we watched an elementary school get mowed down by bullets and NOTHING CHANGED. But, this group of MSD alumni think that this time is different. We're making cross-country efforts. We're a group of successful, well-connected adults. I guess that's kind of what happens when you go to such a good school in such an affluent neighborhood. Maybe (and I know this is shocking) the change sometimes has to start from wealthy, predominantly white people, if you can get them (us) to care. It's possibly an awful reality, but if that is the reality then I am happy to be a white person with a wealthy upbringing that pushes for real change. I want to use the voice that my privilege has provided to speak out for more than just myself. I'll use my whiteness, my wealth, my Yale degree, my job at Harvard to shout from the top of whatever fucking ladder that I am on that THIS. IS. NOT. OKAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY. No one should ever have to worry that they are going to die going to the mall, to the movies, to a night club, to church, to school. We talk about terrorism and being scared of flying? What about being scared to live my everyday life because of the terrorism inflicted upon Americans daily at the hands of assault rifles and other guns? I am terrified. I am devastated. I am in shock. I am heartbroken. But I can't cry about this at my desk and move on with my life like I have in the past. I am so sorry it took this happening to me, my high school, my friends, my family, my childhood for me to feel so passionately that it's time to take real action. I am angry at myself for not acting sooner. There's some part of me that feels like my Jewish heritage tried to teach me to act before 'they come for me', but the lessons learned from history just don't stick when you've never lived through the fear.
And I am living in fear. But that fear is no longer just lurking in the back of my mind, mixed with sadness and disgust. It's now propelling me to move, to act, to organize, to TRY to do something. Anything. Do I think I can make a difference? Who knows. But I can at least try. Continually feeling like 'I am only one person, what can I possibly do' is just not sustainable anymore. If everyone feels like this, there will never be movement and the money behind the NRA will always make the policies. Maybe we should all stop feeling like this - lets organize and maybe be greater together. We can't continue to sit here and do nothing. I know the MSD alumni are making moves and building a network of sad, angry, fearful, but MOTIVATED individuals that want to come together to be greater than they are on their own.
But what about the rest of you? The ones that have not yet been personally affected? Don't wait until you're forced to feel like I do. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT IS YOUR CHILDHOOD THAT HAS BEEN MASSACRED. Start acting now. Find others that want to make a difference and start making a difference. NOW.
I did not know any of these 17 personally. But I will remember them.
Alyssa Alhadeff
Martin Duque Anguiano
Scott Beigel
Nicholas Dworet
Aaron Feis
Jamie Guttenberg
Christopher Hixon
Luke Hoyer
Cara Loughran
Gina Montalto
Joaquin Oliver
Alaina Petty
Meadow Pollack
Helena Ramsay
Alex Schachter
Carmen Schentrup
Peter Wang
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